Post of the week -- Political doppelgangers, cabinet look-alikes.

Being the observant characters we are at Asylum we've spent the first few months of this coalition government carefully analysing the faces of this government's cabinet to put together nine of the most biometrically accurate political look-alikes ever assembled by human hand.

Including Danny Alexander looking like Beaker from The Muppets. No, really, it's true.


Sex -- The Lingerie Football League, the only way to make American football watchable.

Women -- The nation's finest English roses.

Sports -- Could this be the greatest football celebration ever?

Gadgets -- iPhone app makes popcorn, definitely real, definitely not fake.

Weird -- Meet Paul Yarrow, the man behind the news. Literally.

Desk of the week -- What does your desk say about you?

Dancing coppers of the week -- The dancing Swedish policeman and the world's funkiest law enforcers.

Our happy hour fact to amaze your pub-going pals with.

Thought Americans were lazy? Well, that is as may be, but the laziest are from Louisiana, who spend less time doing physical activity than residents in the other 49 states.

Bloomberg BusinessWeek defines "laziness" as "a measure of leisure time spent doing sedentary activities compared with activities that require more physical effort, such as exercising and even working." With that definition in hand, and using U.S. Bureau of Labour Statistics figures from between the years 2004 and 2008, they applied it on a state-by-state basis.

Louisianans took the "lazy" crown by spending an average of only 2 hours and 41 minutes a day working -- which is 42 minutes less than the average American.

Mississippi and Arkansas came in second and third on Bloomberg BusinessWeek's laziness scale, whereas North Dakota rated as the most active state.

Having witnessed the frenzy of Mardi Gras, we seriously doubt that Louisianans are lazy. Perhaps, during the rest of the year, they're just unmotivated. Or are just knackered form all the partying, probably.

We all love a political look alike. Mainly because politicians are basically normal people. Well, normal people with an abnormal sense of self-worth and desire for power.

Sometimes telling a politician they look like a tapir is the only way to bring them back down to earth and get them off that Question Time pedestal.

Being the observant characters we are at Asylum we've spent the first few months of this coalition government carefully analysing the faces of this government's cabinet to put together nine of the most biometrically accurate political look-alikes ever assembled by human hand*.

And you can find them after the break.

The streets of Malmö, Sweden, will never be the same after this unknown copper decided to cut a few metaphorical rugs all over the cobbled streets of Sweden's third city.

The Backstreet Boy in blue has become an internet sensation after throwing shapes that left onlookers staring in awe at his sheer funkiness, grooving to Swedish electronica outfit The Knife's track 'Girls' Night Out'.

But, alas, we've been informed that he isn't, in fact, a real policeman, but a member of an exhibition called 'Polis polis potatismos' (Literally: 'Police Police mashed potatoes') that was taking place in the town, named after a famous Swedish book of the same name.

Still, boy can he boogie. Seriously, look at him go. But, after investigating a little further, it seems he's not the only man in uniform willing to dance to the rhythm as our video gallery below proves...

Whether you're out on the prowl, looking for the 'one', or just dating a few people, there are a few innate rules inside you that say: 'If they do this, then it's off.'

It could be a simple as the fact that just don't wash enough, or refuse to pick you up from the airport because they're playing World Of Warcraft, or because they're secretly spies (we're looking at you, Anna Chapman).

There's a blog dedicated to the rules we all have, and it's called 'Dealbreaker' and we love this blog so much we've gathered up our favourite five, which you can see below, and written five of our own.

The question is, what are your dealbreakers? Let us know in the comment box below, why not? Go on. Do it. Do it now.

Oh how different it would have been if England had won the World Cup. St George's flags would still be flying, we'd probably still be out celebrating, and shed-loads of tacky products would have been sold simply because they carried the names of footballers.

But alas they didn't. Which is why 5,000 gold-plated Frank Lampard endorsed Apple iPods - complete with his signature laser-etched on the back - will now be "melted down" after failing to sell.

The garish 24-carat gold gadgets had been launched by the Chelsea ace at Harrods prior to the World Cup and it was hoped fans would snap them up for up to £599 each - with Frank's royalties going to charity.

However, after England's early exit from the South African tournament, people have been unsurprisingly reluctant to part with their cash for the pricey iPod Touch and bosses say they've been a flop.

It's understood the devices, produced by Goldgenie (a firm backed by BBC Dragon James Caan), will now undergo a chemical process to recover their precious metal, so it can be used again, in golden Hello Kitty branded gadgets.

When you get clamped, it's not funny. Not funny at all. When two supercars belonging to the Qatari royal family get clamped, then it's ever so slighty funny. If not very, very funny, in fact.

The two supercars, both with bright baby blue paint jobs, can hit up to 200mph each – the Koenigsegg CCXR being one of only six in the world and the Lamborghini Murcielago LP670-4 boasting a top speed of 214 mph. A fact they won't be able to prove any time soon.

The Qatari royal family left their flash motors outside of the newly purchased Harrods, which they recently dropped a healthy £1.5billion on buying it from Mohamed al Fayed just three months ago.

But the £100 odd fine won't matter much to the man behind the Qatar Holding group, as they're worth over £2.4 billion in total. A drop in the ocean would be exaggerating it, wouldn't it, Sheikh Hamad Bin Jassim Bin Jabr Al-Thani?

For more detail, check out video evidence of the high profile clamping below.

Dopey gardeners conned into growing cannabis
Elderly gardeners in Bulgaria have been conned into growing cannabis for drug dealers who told them the plants were 'a new type of tomato' and promised £50 per plant. The unintentional green-fingered criminals include an 82-year-old woman who now faces eight years in jail.
Sentence: Case pending.

Man arrested in his own handcuffs
A man has been arrested on drugs charges after waving down police while already wearing his own handcuffs. The 25-year-old said he'd allowed himself to be cuffed by a woman and had assumed they were fake and easy to take off. They weren't. But before police released him they patted him down and found a hypodermic needle and various pills.
Sentence: Held on $2,150 bail

Keep reading for three more displays of criminal nincompoopery...

A peek at the morning's sport and entertainment news.

Premier League chief to be taken to court over involvement with Crouch move. (The Sun)

Liverpool prove their worth and beat Rabotnicki 2 - 0. (The Daily Mail)

Fabregas' Barcelona / Arsenal loyalty battle rumbles on. (The Telegraph)

England might actually win the first test with Pakistan thanks to Eoin Morgan. (Guardian)

Stallone ponders Rambo prequel. (Ain't It Cool)

Total Recall is back, back, back? (Empire)

CGI Yogi Bear movie trailer, anyone? (Filmdrunk)

Mel Gibson and wife to use same lawyers... Mel to pay $250,000 for the privilege. (Radar)

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are expecting a baby. (MTV)

Darren Aronofsky's Robocop remake is no longer happening. (Sky Movies)

BrewDog, we love you, but your reign as the creators of the most alcoholic beer has lasted the grand total of... about a week. 7 days ago, our Scottish pals were on top of the beer-based world, but now Dutch brewers 't Koelschip (The Refrigerated Ship) have made a new 60% ABV beer, beating Brewdog's now paltry 55% with ease.

Seemingly a friendly jab in BrewDog's considerable beer belly, the Dutch tipple is called "Start the Future" as opposed to the Scots' highly flammable "End Of History."

To get yourself some of the new super-bevvy, you'll need €35 (£29) in your bank account, and the desire to sip at something so strong it's more of a cocktail than a common or garden whistle-wetter. Oh, and a respectable understanding of written Dutch.

Beer Wars it may be, but it's friendly one, the Dutch brewers are keen to point out, telling news agency ANP that" "It has become a little competition...You should see it as a joke."

A joke, eh? We doubt BrewDog James Watt will be laughing. No sir. Then again, he's got loads of stuffed rodents to keep him company, so maybe he'll be all right.