(Our weekly recap of the best from Asylum)

Post of the week -- The 30 worst album covers ever
Album covers can be iconic pieces of art. Visual snapshots that capture the zeitgeist of a moment or a movement: The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, Bauhaus -- The Sky's Gone Out, The Beatles -- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Jimi Hendrix -- Electric Ladyland: All amazing. They can also be weird sketches of a man snogging a dog (whose tongue is that?) as we proved in our rundown of the 30 worst album covers ever. Keep your eyes peeled for a metallic tit on wheels. You heard.


Sex -- Meet some real women who love porn, with starlet Bobbi Starr

Women -- Letting the side down -- Top dudes with below average women

Sports -- "Eat my goal!" The very finest in overexcitable football commentaries

Gadgets -- Boffins create 3D invisibility cloak

Weird -- So I married a dog -- 7 moments of weird wedlock

Motorist toddler of the week -- Five-year-old crashes car after four mile, low speed chase

Probably animal cruelty of the week -- Surfer teaches pet alpaca to make waves

Our happy hour fact to amaze your pub-going pals with.

The majority of Americans think God intervenes in day-to-day life.

Combining the results of two recent surveys on religious belief, sociology professor Scott Shieman calculated that 82 percent of those across the pond ask God for help and guidance in making decisions; 71 percent believe that when good or bad things happen to them it is all part of God's plan.

Another 61 percent say God has predetermined the course of their life, and 32 percent take that a step further by agreeing with the statement "There is no sense in planning a lot because ultimately my fate is in God's hands."

According to the findings, better educated and wealthier Americans are less likely to believe God plays an active role in their life.

Just when old Tiger was beginning to think people had forgotten about his galavanting penis, up pops one of the ex-mistresses with a barrage of sexts allegedly sent from the world number one. And wouldn't you bloody know it, it's the porn star one! Yippee for us. Sad face for Tiger.

Jocelyn James, star of My First Sex Teacher 12 and MILF Worship 4, published a string of lewd and grammatically hilarious texts on her website claiming to be from her former lover. They reveal the methodical way in which Tiger attempted to avoid detection, his penchant for kinky sex and inability to use the words "to" and "too" in the right context.

We can but hope that this is the last sorry nail in a coffin we'd all like to see buried now, but that surely has cast a stinking great shadow over Tiger's return.

We went and tracked down lady stand-up Fiona Dunphy to give us her thoughts and show us where Tiger's smutty offerings went wrong. For the best of Tiger's texts, keep reading.

Long thought of as target practice for US tornadoes and most other major natural disasters, trailer parks and mobile homes are the stepchild of the housing industry.

But small, modular prefabs might have a few things going for them: They are usually cheap and might be more sustainable than other dwellings.

For around £40,000, you can get a posh-looking home from Ecospace. The company uses modern architects to put up studios, using green construction methods, in just five days.

Note: Getting it over to the UK is your problem.

The grass is green, the flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping, the dogs are humping -- It's spring! It's 18 degrees outside today -- and there's you still wrapped up in your winter gear. It's time to get thinking about your spring wardrobe again. Yes again. What you've never thought about it before? Well it's time you flipping started!

Obviously Asylum readers are intelligent and naturally attractive people, with better things to do than worry about which t-shirt to buy. With this, clearly, empirical fact in mind, we've decided to put together a massive freakin' collection of the hottest tees to be spotted in this spring/summer.

We're breaking this t-shirt compendium down into several segments to be showcased over the coming weeks, and today we're starting with geeky tees. Tees that say, "yes I like Galaga and you probably don't even know what Galaga is".

So for our first 12 shirts keep reading.

German scientists claim they have created the world's first "invisibility cloak" which can be used to make a 3D object disappear.

Using photonic metamaterials, which guide and control light, the researchers were able to hide a small bump on a gold surface.

This was done by placing their 'cloak' over a 0.00004 inch bump - the lenses in the metamaterial then bend light waves to make the bump invisible.

Previous devices have only been able achieve invisibility from a specific viewing position - but this cloak works from all angles, which the boffins say is a huge step forwards.

Tolga Ergin of the Karlsruhe Institute of Technology admits that they are still years away from making objects as big as humans or cars invisible, but that in principal, the cloak design is completely scalable.

"This is the first proof of principle. It shows that the technique works," he said. "It is really hard to say what the future will bring, but the field is definitely very broad and the possibilities are very large."

Okay, so this isn't going to let you creep around like that damn hobbit just yet - but it does mean we are one step closer. Anyway, you've already had commercial jet packs and levitating chairs this year, don't get greedy.

Clint Dempsey scored what might become the most famous goal in Fulham's history, last night.

The team's American match winner Clint Dempsey (pictured on the left having scored) confessed that he took a gamble in scoring his side's glorious winner against Juventus which helped the south west London club advance to the quarter-finals of the Europa League.

Fulham overturned a 3-1 first leg defeat and an early goal to overcome the Italian giants in a gob-smacking match.

David Trezeguet opened the scoring for the visitors inside two minutes before World Cup hopeful Bobby Zamora equalised with a well taken goal minutes later.

Zoltan Gera then scored twice before Dempsey came off the bench to audaciously lob Juve's third choice 'keeper Antonio Chimenti from 20 yards.

The goal will go down as a contender for goal of the tournament even though the goalscorer declared that he took a chance in attempting the lob.

"I just thought 'what the heck?' and tried to put it in the far post and it went in," Dempsey told ESPN.

"Nine times out of 10 you won't make it but sometimes you've got to take a risk."

Check out the goal that Fulham fans will tell their grandchildren about and five of the greatest comebacks in football...

As we're all too aware, it's infidelity season. Seemingly all men are heartless, philandering, gadabouts, who can't keep it in their kegs long enough to win a golf major, or finish a Take That tour, or present Family Fortunes, or win the Champions League. Is there a reason for this adulterous upsurge? Are famous young men getting tied down too young?

So you're good looking, you're talented and you're famous. What are you going to do now? Marry your dowdy childhood sweetheart? Hook up with a distinctly average looking lady? Sometimes famous men get together with plain women and we just don't get it.

Why do they do it? Don't try and tell us its over something as spurious as love. Screw love! You're famous, the babes of the world are yours (well the shallower ones at least). It's your obligation to enjoy that bountiful treasure trove of beautiful women.

As such we are going to name and shame the men who are letting the side down, who must try harder, who could have it all but have blundered badly by opting for the plump chick with the goofy gnashers.

But to keep things balanced we've enlisted the help of celebrity blogger Sarah Boese, whose going to give us a ladies perspective on the aesthetically challenged women we've uncovered. Basically so she can take the heat for this one...

A peek at the morning's sport and entertainment news.

Tiger's mucky texts revealed. (The Sun)

Torres double eases pressure on Benitez. (Times)

Fulham knock Juventus out in loopy game. (Guardian)

Ryan Shawcross kept on hold by Aaron Ramsey. (The Sun)

David Beckham and James Corden get pampered together. (London Evening Standard)

Doctor Who airdate officially confirmed. (Digital Spy)

New Predators Trailer. (Sky Movies)

Kristen Stewart rocks out in her underwear. (Daily Fill)

Sasha Grey plays Dungeons & Dragons with other porn stars. (Topless Robot)

Rose McGowan has been cast as Red Sonja. (Screen Junkies)

A five year-old boy, Thomas Chatfield, miraculously escaped uninjured after he stole his stepfather's 4x4, drove more than four miles along Chichester country lanes and a dual carriageway before finally crashing, slowly into a wall.

His mother Jessica Chatfield was woken just after 6am on Thursday by neighbours who reported hearing loud revving noises. Thomas had pinched the car keys from his mum's handbag. They then watched in horror as he managed to reverse the Mitsubishi Shogun (he reversed!) out of the family's driveway before embarking on his epic journey.

He then crashed into two cars parked on the street before driving off with neighbours dashing after him.

The little boy's journey took him along a dual carriageway section of the A27 from Tangmere towards Chichester before turning north on the A285.

He passed Goodwood airfield, home to a motor racing track, before turning down a country road called Pook Lane and finally hitting a brick wall in the neighboring village of Lavant. He had been on the lam for 20 minutes door to wall.

Tearful, he was comforted by a motorist who had spotted the youngsters getaway and made chase. At 10mph.

By this time he had hit a further two parked cars and dealt a passing motorist a glancing blow.

The boy was taken to a hospital as a precaution but was not injured.

Nathan Parkinson, 22, attempted to stop the car as it drove off.

"I had to do a double take because I couldn't believe what I was seeing," he told the Daily Telegraph.

"I could just about make out a forehead above the steering wheel and a pair of eyes peaking through the gap.

"The car was revving loudly and jolting backwards and forewards. I was struggling to keep up because he wasn't wearing a seat belt and looked like he was standing."

The car was in automatic and apparently can be driven at slow speeds without needing to use the pedals.

The things he must have seen!