ASYLUM - For all mankind

Weekly recap -- Prisoner heroes and toppling government

Friday 06 November
By Tom Cullen

Our weekly cheat sheet on the best of Asylum)

Post of the week -- It was never in any doubt, this week. Introducing four prison inmates who are being hailed as heroes for saving the life of a prison guard. Deputy Kenneth Moon was alone at his station at a county jail facility when an inmate attacked him with no warning. Leaping into action, four other prisoners came to Moon's aid with the drama being caught on CCTV. Give those men a beer. Just the one mind, they're still cons after all.

Gadgets -- Man invents hand held fire. Finally...

Sex -- Five foxiest serial killers of the silverscreen.

Weird -- Man appears alive at his own funeral.

Women -- Dances of nature that will impress women. Guaranteed.

Conundrum of the week -- Fight Nikolai Valuev or kill a goat with your eyes? Decisions, decisions...

Guide of the week -- How to topple a foreign government. Thanks us when you're done.

X-ray voted most important modern discovery

Friday 06 November
By Jeremy Taylor

Our happy hour fact to amaze your pub going pals with.

The X-Ray has been declared the most important scientific innovation by London's Science Museum.

Almost 50,000 people chose among 10 listed innovations, and voted at the museum's Web site. The X-ray machine garnered about 20 percent of the vote, finishing in front of penicillin and the discovery of the double helix. The electronic telegraph and steam engine were among the other discoveries offered.

"People are just fascinated with seeing inside their bodies -- even today," explained the museum's curator. "It has fundamentally changed the way we see and understand our world -- but particularly our bodies."

That being said, we're still wary of this conclusion. After all, the pre-selected list of 10 didn't even include the George Foreman Grill.

10 things you should never say to a female poker player

Friday 06 November
By Emily McCombs

US poker star Vanessa Rousso, a member of Team PokerStars Pro, has over £1.8 million in career tournament earnings. Her biggest win was for £600,000 at the PokerStars European Poker Tour Grand Final in Monte Carlo in May.

We were so impressed by all that cash flow that we asked her to provide us with the top 10 things you should never say to a female poker player. Pay attention, gents. No ifs, no buts, it's all after the jump.

Powersafe takes fun and danger out of jump starts

Friday 06 November
By G. Xavier Robillard

If the real reason you don't have jump cables is that you're afraid you'll get fried, then this little gizmo is for you.

PowerSafe looks like a regular set of jump leads, except there's a power monitor in the middle, which will only allow current from one car to the other if everything is connected correctly. The system will even detect if the battery is throwing shorts, so that you can't get a shock.

This is all well and good but what's next? A clever gadget that will prevent the bomb squad from getting blown up after cutting the wrong wire, taking all the fun out of tense demolition-expert movies? Bah humbug. No pricing yet, but we expect to hear more about that next year. [via CNET]

Valuev and the biggest sports stars on the planet

Friday 06 November
By Tom Cullen

One thing we've noticed about Nikolai Valuev, is that he's big. Very big.

At over 7ft he's the biggest boxer ever to grace the ring and Britain's David Haye has his work cut out at thign Saturday's fight (9.30pm Sky Box Office).

Haye make take some solace in the fact that tall sports stars are a regular thing and often they're pretty rubbish at their chosen profession. Not always mind you.

Check out our gallery of some of the biggest stars of modern sport, after the jump.

Remote controlled bowling -- Goldfinger would be thrilled

Friday 06 November
By Tom Cullen


Say what you will about Auric Goldfinger. The man was willing to spend to cheat. Heaven knows how much his remote controlled golf ball was but we bet he paid through the nose.

If Ten Pin Bowling was more his game (and we doubt it was Bond's) then the RC900 bowling ball would be right up his street. Invented by San Antonio, Texas-based 900 Global the bowler steers the ball by adjusting the position of a weight screwed onto a threaded shaft inside the ball.

The product is being marketed to young children and those unable to bowl because of physical limitations.

Check out this footage as the ball slaloms smoothly around chairs along the lane before striking the headpin -- cruelly missing a strike by one. Want to talk money? £800. Tell them Asylum sent you. Check it out after the jump.

Man dressed as breathalyser arrested for drink-driving

Friday 06 November
By Simon Crisp

When he saw the flashing lights and heard the alarming whirs of the police siren behind him, James Miller must have known this wasn't going to be his night.

But little did he know that in a few short days he would be the inaugural holder of the Asylum Criminal Idiocy title - which will each week go to the dumbest crook we can find.

Police first had suspicions all was not right with the driver, when they noticed him weaving the wrong way down a one way street. Given that this was 1:30 on a Sunday morning and he didn't have the headlights on, the boys-in-blue didn't exactly need the deductive powers of DI Burnside to realise our man was someone worth stopping. More after the jump.

Large hadron collider shut down -- by bread

Friday 06 November
By Simon Crisp

It's one of the most technically advanced pieces of scientific equipment ever built, and some people think it's so powerful it could destroy the world. But it appears the Large Hadron Collider is no match for a humble toaster.

The £4 billion particle-collider in Geneva has once again be stopped from discovering the secrets of the origin of the Universe, not by another helium leak, or travelling back in time to kill itself - but by an errant chunk of baguette.

Boffins think a 'bread particle' was dropped by a bird into some of the outdoor equipment used by the LHC, causing an automatic shutdown sequence of the doomsday device.

The crusty bread - there is no word on sandwich filling - had paralysed a high voltage installation powering parts of the cryogenic cooling plant, causing the LHC to increase by 6C in temperature above its normal -238C.

This triggered the automatic shutdown, putting plans to speed up protons and smash them together, once again on hold. It is thought the device will be bread-free and running within a couple of days.

Are we the only ones who think some of the old British Rail guys must now be involved in CERN? -- because this sounds suspiciously like the sort of excuse rolled out for a delay to the 12.34 to Manchester.

Katy Perry in West Ham Basque and Haye v Valuev predictions

Friday 06 November
By Tom Cullen

(A peek at the morning's entertainment and sport news)

Katy Perry in West Ham basque. (The Sun)

Dan Ackroyd is play Yogi Bear. (Orange)

Angelina Jolie goes blonde and jumps from moving vehicles. (Screen Junkies)

Will Ferrell wants to run a British pub. (The Sun)

Has Sam Fox signed up for I'm A Celebrity? (Unreality TV)

Haye v Valuev: The Predictions (Telegraph)

Man Utd linked with £12m superstar. (Independent)

Sol off to Germany? (Metro)

Hong Kong striker get's Spurs call. (Daily Mail)

Spanish football faces strike fears. (BBC)

Crocodile pinches shark from angler -- and eats it

Friday 06 November
By Simon Crisp

If a crocodile turns up while you're fishing, it's important to remember just one thing. Leave.

Luckily these guys had someone to tell them just that as a croc approached while they shark fished (an odd sport in fairness) in the Cobourg Peninsula, Australia.

The anglers were busy landing a 2ft shark (and probably feeling pretty buff about it) when the guy filming spotted a crocodile heading towards them -- and recommended in no uncertain terms that they evacuate the muddy waters.

The American anglers didn't need telling twice and made a hasty retreat to a safe distance - where they then watched on as the greedy-looking croc tucked into their prize catch.

The man with the cam then continued filming as the 6ft reptile grabbed the flailing shark by the tail - destroyed it and swam off with his treat.

Check out the vid and some other (slightly fairer) animal v animal clips after the jump.