Remember when video games were too crappy to sell with screenshots? When you needed an elaborate painting of a dragon to convince kids it was worth sending you their money?We still feel the pain of those times -- of waiting desperately for "Killer Bees" to arrive for our Atari, only to discover that it was basically yet another black screen with some meaningless coloured pixels moving around.
Of course disappointment is just a part of gaming. But while you may wish that Guitar Hero 3 had a few more songs, or that Mario Kart for the Wii had a few more tracks, that's nothing to what the kids of the 1970s (and 80s, and 90s...) went through.
So to help us overcome that pain, here is our round-up of the 50 most disappointing adverts in gaming history.
(Thanks to TomHeroes.com for permission to use these images.)
50 Most Misleading Video Game Ads
Unless you owned a floating chair and a 100-inch TV, which in 1980-something was pretty unlikely, we doubt that Pole Position for the Atari was quite this exciting. And even if it was, the cars still looked like two bricks moving from side to side.
Star Wars arcade was actually pretty fun, but as far as we know it never burnt a line drawing of the Death Star into your retinas.
Who knew that non-ninja turtles could be that exciting? No one. They aren't.
You can't turn back the Timelord, but you can make fun of his stupid-looking red eyeballs and all-over blue face tattoo.
It's a dragon! It looks so real! Shame the in-game dragon is 4 red pixels that make bleep-bleep noises.
"Well done son, you've graduated. Here's a game about the 1984 election to ruin your summer."
These killer bees are unbelievably scary. The game was unbeleivably crap. There's a nice symmetry in there somewhere.
Those yellow stars are a visual representation of the abstract feeling of thirst. If you ignore the terrible game and cash-in marketing, that's actually kind of impressive.
Somewhere on this planet there is a man in his late 30s with the secret knowledge that he starred in this ad. For his sake let's hope it stays a secret.
Even Tron the movie looks like a joke these days. God help the game.
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Tuesday 10 June
By Chip5541
Reactor was from the early 80's not the 70's.
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Tuesday 10 June
By Chip5541
I meant to add those are some great finds for the ads. Brings back allot of memories.
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Tuesday 10 June
By Scelestis
Sorry, I feel that the writer of these either A. Didn't play any of them, or B. Didn't actually exist during that era of gaming. I wouldn't say I "grew" up on these games, but was certainly around for them. They obviously arn't anything special by today's standards, but back then they were fantastic. I am not sure just how many times you can get away with making fun of atari graphics....
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Tuesday 10 June
By Christopher Drum
I want to go on record as agreeing 100% with Scelestis' comment. The author of this bizarre "article" has missed the point entirely, and CLEARLY hasn't played these games. In fact, it appears that these ads are the author's introduction to most of them. Saying that Joust is a game based on a comic book is just all kinds of ignorant. And comparing the early days of graphics only to games that have come out within the past six months is a cheap shot. For that matter, is our author so naive as to suggest that games today look like reality? Are any of us actually "fooled" by the zombie-like appearance of NFL players in-game? Should I be upset that a photograph of a living person is on the cover of a sports game when the people in the game are clearly not real? Is any of this older advertising doing anything so exageratedly different than any other ad of any other product of any other era in history?
I DID grow up with those games and I remember being excited about them because of many of the ads you posted. We all knew back then that the ads were to evoke a feeling of playing the game, not literally represent the in-game content. I recall conversations with friends that went along the lines of, "I can't wait until video games look like that!" So, we were not "misled" by those ads whatsoever, rendering this entire article moot and I am sincerely sorry I spent even this much time thinking about it.
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Wednesday 09 July
By Kratos
I agree with Scelestis...I dont consider myself misled by the artwork with these games these games were good..In the 70s you were lucky to have a decent version of Space invaders..It`s easy to take the P**S out of games like these in 2008.The same as you can bet that somebody will be making smug remarks about the likes of "Call of duty 4" 30 or so years down the line..But the late 70s was the start of it all and i am happy to have been there at the Very beginning of the videogame age..It was brilliant!..The feeling of suddenly being able to play the likes of Space invaders or Battlezone in your own living room was excitement never to be repeated by whatever console they could ever release today..games and game systems of the current age are INCREDIBLE granted.But owe there existence to the 70s and 80s.
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