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Male breast reduction surgery has doubled over the past year. You might want to read that again, yep, breast reduction surgery is on the increase, but don't worry, it's only the guys.

Still, that's a whole lot of chest surgery going on - and not the type your ex-girlfriend keeps boasting about on Facebook. Besides breast reduction, nose jobs and under-eye facelifts were also common - but these are old hat, right?

We wanted to know about the more unusual cosmetic enhancements available for blokes - how much they cost, how much they hurt, and how on earth they do it. Check it out in its gory detail, after the jump.


Type of surgery: Male breast reduction surgery
Price: Between £3,000 to £4,000
Why you'd want it: Because you have 'Gynaecomastia', aka the abnormal enlargement of glandular tissue on the upper chest, affecting around 50% of all men. Basically, you have man-boobs, though you might know them as 'moobs' or 'chesticles'. Then again, you're almost certain to have some loose skin around there by the time you're 80. Just sayin'.
How it's done: Through selective lyposuction around the affected area, sucking out the fatty tissue with a tube, which typically takes around 2-3 hours to carry out.
Painfulness rating: If you have the glandular tissue cut out, a lot more pain will be endured, but still not that much in the grand scheme of things – you could even be out of the hospital on the same day if you're lucky. 4/10


Type of surgery: Silicone buttock implants
Price: Around £3000
Why you'd want it: Because you'd like 'more curves' – i.e. you don't have no butt, soldier. Or, as an example, you've built up your upper body and are unable to gain muscle mass in your, um, ass.
How it's done: Usually the surgeon will make an incision where your thigh meets your rear, or even in the crack so the scars aren't so visible. Semi-solid silicone implants are placed inside a specially created flesh pocket, often with a bit of liposuction to give a more rounded finish.
Painfulness rating: You'll be sore for sure after surgery and sitting down won't be too much fun for a while. There'll also be swelling for a few weeks, and no 'strenuous activities' for at least a month. At ease, love god. 6/10



Type of surgery: Removing fat from cheeks
Price: About £3000
Why you'd want it: You have too much excess fat around the lower part of your cheeks, known as buccal fat, or to your piss-taking mates, 'chipmunk cheeks'.
How it's done: Making an incision from inside the mouth, back towards the molars, at which point the fat is teased out with tweezers after applying pressure to the cheek bone area.
Painfulness rating: This one hurts, and you'll definitely need plenty'o'pain meds after this one. Expect swelling, a week off work, and a month off anything strenuous. Soup through a straw also recommended. 7/10

Type of surgery: Penis lengthening
Price: This can vary a lot, but you're looking at £10-15,000
Why you'd want it: Because hormone therapy, weights, stretching, manual stimulation, magnetic devices, vacuum developers and all the Chinese herbs in the world haven't lengthened your wee willie winkie in the slightest.
How it's done: The suspensory ligament that lengthens the penis when erect is purposely severed which, with a bit of skin chopping and changing, makes your chap look just a little bit longer.
Painfulness rating: If it does work, the best you'll get is 1.3cm more in flaccid length (but not necessarily in erect length). What's more, it often doesn't work at all, and for that reason it's a solid 10/10

Type of surgery: Underarm sweat reduction via Botox
Price: From as little as £500
Why you'd want it: If you suffer from Hyperhidrosis, which is basically when you can't stop sweating. If you get moist under the arms at the slightest bit of stress, then you've got this good, friend. So one for those in close contact with others at work (dentists, doctors, air stewards) or those in hot work environments (TV presenters, chefs, the devil).
How it's done: Each armpit area will get 12-15 jabs from a microneedle full of the toxin once a starching test has been carried out. Easy peasy. Kind of.
Painfulness rating: You shouldn't feel a thing – and within 48 hours 95% of all underarm sweating will have gone, as will that stinky sweat smell and those awkward stains on your work shirts. We're genuinely considering this one. 1/10

Type of surgery: Hair transplants
Price: This depends on how much you want done – but you're looking at about £5 per individual graft – and a really big operation can use 5000 of them. 4,500 grafts will cost you about £11,000.
Why you'd want it: You've become a little but thin on top. Okay, scratch that, more like you've become totally shiny on top. Basically, if people point and stare, then you might want to look into this. Or just shave it all off.
How it's done: A selection of hair from a part of your head that does have fuzz on it is carefully cut away and moved to the desired area. A massive operation may require three placers, three sliverers and seven cutters to cut, prepare and place each section.
Painfulness rating: There'll most likely be aching, excessive tightness and throbbing, but this can be fixed with the right meds. And as a warning, you'll need 'touch-ups' later, which will cost you more. 6/10


Type of surgery: Calf implants
Price: About £4000
Why you'd want it: Calf augmentation is basically for those guys who want to look like a young Arnie, or jog a lot and genuinely believe that people stare at back of their legs and judge them on it.
How it's done: After taking medication that shrinks certain blood vessels in your leg and undergoing local anesthetic an incision is made and a slim silicon implant is popped inside. It shouldn't take longer than a couple of hours.
Painfulness rating: You can't walk anywhere for a few days, and there will be swelling and bruising. Oh, and full recovery can take anywhere up to a year. As can scar fading. Hmmm... 7/10

Type of surgery: Pectoral implants
Price: £7000 upwards
Why you'd want it: You might have asymmetrical pecs and want to even them out a bit, or you could be a lazy bodybuilder who simply can't be arsed and/or can't seem to gain weight on your upper chest (though if that's the case, you'd probably just give up).
How it's done: An incision is made in each armpit to smuggle in the implants under your chest muscles. Unlike female breast implants, which are soft, these are rock hard, nigh-on unrupturable buggers. Depending on requirements, these can be specially shaped for you too.
Painfulness rating: A feeling like severe cramp will hit you once you wake up, so painkillers will be the order of the day. Fluid can collect, so there might be draining tubes, and you'll be heavily wrapped up in bandages to keep 'em still. 8/10

Type of surgery: Abdominal etching
Price: Depending on how much needs doing, up to £12000
Why you'd want it: Your belly is a little bit, um, shakey, but not actually massive. So if you've got a couple of lumps and bumps but can't bear to look at your tum-tum, then this is the six pack surgery you've been looking for.
How it's done: Carefully carrying out genuinely artful liposuction, the fat under your skin is removed and rearranged to make it look like you've got a washboard under there.
Painfulness rating (out of ten): This one will definitely hurt – and you'll need bandages around you for 3-6 weeks, depending on how long the swelling lasts. Try not to laugh for a while, too... 8/10



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