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Inspired by the U.S. vs. U.K. grudge matches as featured on Setanta Sport's Ultimate Fighter series, we couldn't help but reflect on our own grudges within the vast Asylum International network.

Leaving out the street-brawling capabilities of StreetLevel and the superpowers found around the ComicsAlliance offices, we focused our violent speculation on the English-language Asylum sites. Simply put, between Asylum Australia, Asylum USA, Asylum India, and Asylum UK who would win in a good old-fashioned bar fight?

And now on to the debate, blow-by-blow, after the jump.

Australia: The Land of the Deadly Species

Being the most advanced timezone we'd clearly be at the bar before anyone else. In the time up our sleeve we'd set up some traps to overcome our massive numbers disadvantage. Funnel web spiders, Taipan snakes, crocs, box jellyfish ... All those deadly species that seem so good at picking off a bunch of hapless tourists each year. Meanwhile we'll get stuck into the drinks while waiting for you lot to turn up.

Naturally we'll bring the biggest knives (a la Crocodile Dundee) but for those looking a little empty handed, they'll drain their beers in preparation to glass you in the face. That's not dirty, that's what we call old fashioned Aussie resourcefulness.

If all else fails, we'll look to drink everyone under the table. Remember, Australia's Prime Minister's have a proud drinking tradition. PM Bob Hawke held the Guinness Record for fastest skull of a yard glass for many years. And during his election campaign our current PM Kevin Rudd admitted he got so drunk at a visit to Scores in New York he can't remember what happened there.

Drink, knife, drink... Glass, bite, die... Sounds a bloody good strategy to us.

U.K.: Pwnage of the Jolliest Kind, by Sir. Hubert T.C. William Buxomley III

Look, chaps, this is all very silly. There really is no debate. We Brits have about 800 years of bar fighting experience over both of you. We were smashing ale tankards and ceremonial horns into each other's woad-encrusted faces before your nations were even a glint in our cheerfully Imperial eye.

Admittedly, we aren't the most cohesive bar-fighting force in the world... Within seconds the Manchester United fans will turn on the Chelsea fans, the cricketers will turn on the rugby players, and everyone except the English will turn on the English. But our divisions also make us stronger. You might take out the Scots, but then the Welsh will be there, rising up in their place. And as soon as the Welsh falter, boom! -- the Cockneys will barrel into view, screaming indecipherable chimney-sweep war-chants while wrapping Union Flags around their hairy East End knuckles. (Plus, we always have the Queen in reserve -- and that old girl can rumble.)

Ultimately, you'll be better off if you let us win. Sure, it will hurt at first. But we're the only ones who will give you a cup of tea and apologise when it's all over. You see there's bar fighting -- and then there's bar fighting with class. And we Brits don't do anything -- whether it's sport, fighting or sex -- without the promise of a nice hot cuppa afterwards. That's pwnage of the jolliest kind!

India: Spicy Slugfest or Dance-off Disaster

Indians (depending on which region of the country they're from) may not have the brawn compared to, say the Aussies or the Americans, but we have prepared ourselves with other means of retaliation. If you were at an Indian bar and dare got into a fight with one of us, we would:

Step 1: Rub the opponents eyes with typical Indian bar food to buy us some time to think about what our next move should be. (Typical Indian bar food, depending on how cheap the place may be, varies from really spicy pickle to ... really spicy anything else).

Step 2: Call up every friend, relative, acquaintance etc. we know and raise fear in our opponent's mind with the sheer number of Indians that he may have to face if he were to hit just one of us

Step 3: Play the historically oppressed race card. We'll win that one sure.

Or, we could just drive everyone out of the bar by doing what we do best. Bursting into a song out of the blue in a language you don't understand is a sure fire way of ruining your evening and make you rethink about stepping into a bar full of Indians ever again.

U.S.A.: The Most Violent Country in Western Civilization

Gentlemen, gentlemen, please, let's be honest -- your countries would go down in a bar fight faster than they do at the Olympics. If even for a second it looked like we might lose your "mates" would probably start defecting to our side in hopes of getting offered U.S. citizenship.

Everyone knows America is the most violent country in Western civilization. Consider this: We execute the mentally disabled here. It shouldn't be too hard to convince a Texan judge that your funny accents are a symptom of high functioning Down Syndrome.

And while the Indians might outnumber us 4-to-1, I suspect we suspect we still outweigh them in total body mass. This abundance of flesh might not lend itself to much stamina, but I'm confident the AMERICAN football players will be able to roll the fatter citizens among us on top of you. Now that's what I call American ingenuity.