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Combining cricket and sex is a pointless exercise. It simply never works. IPL cheerleaders, nudes in lad's mags holding bats and balls, cricket-themed porn sites and Brian Lara Cricket booth babes -- all have entered the game of late and all are about as sexy as KP in a thong.

Why? Becuase this is cricket -- a game for ugly men in jumpers, a game for long, drawn out boredom spotted with an occasional wicket and a hesitant fielding change. Call us bluff old traditionalists, but we don't want to see glamour models in cricket pads trying to work out which end to grab the bat.*

As the Ashes approach, Asylum has therefore dived into the archives of Google Image Search to examine the history of attempts to combine cricket and sex. Feel free to review the evidence -- we think you'll agree that the two worlds of cricket and porn should be kept far, far away from each other.

Launch gallery: cricket and sex


*We should add that actual female cricketers are an entirely different story. They're sexy because they're brilliant at cricket, and because they're not awkwardly arranged in the buff holding a leather ball.

Also See: The Worst Swimming Costumes of Summer (Lemondrop)