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In 'signs of the inevitable primate revolution' news today, around 5,000 visitors to the Chester Zoo were evacuated after 30 male chimps escaped from their compound.

Fortunately for humanity the rebellion was not well planned. Once free of their main enclosure the chimps made straight for the area where their food is prepared, and not the zoo's security centre as we would have expected. (What -- have they never seen Return of the Jedi? Take down the main shields then attack the main objective. Amateurs!)

The chimps' moment of gluttony gave zoo staff the vital time they needed to evacuate visitors and move the animals back into their enclosure. In the end the chimps never posed a danger to the public, since they were always locked in by a larger security fence.

Still, we're not convinced by this apparent 'failure' on the part of the chimps. Who's to say this wasn't just a scouting mission? Watch this space -- we'll be under the thumb of a great ape dictator by the end of the summer...