1 Comments
Inspector Gadget, Scooby Doo, Transformers -- and even all ten-sentences of Where The Wild Things Are... is Hollywood running out of beloved children's memories to make into disappointing movies?

The answer: absolutely not, with a Where's Wally movie in the works, besides Spielberg's upcoming Tintin and even a Smurfs movie, something that's bound to drive you up the Smurfing wall.

So, movie executives (and we know you're out there), we'd like to pitch you a couple of other ideas for you to green light. May we present to you Asylum's ideal movies-based-on-kid's-TV-shows:

Penfold: The Movie

Directed by Quentin Tarantino, this is a gun slinging, white-flying car adventure, where it's revealed that Danger Mouse, far from being the super hero the cartoons lead you to believe, is, in fact, an absolute coward, and it's really Penfold doing all the killing, assassinating, backflipping and outdoing the bad guys.

As it's Tarantino (obviously) expect an amazing, soulful soundtrack, pop culture references (Penfold sleeps in a Bruce Lee duvet cover, he wears red and yellow striped suits) and loads of sweary words.

Penfold: Christian Slater
Dangermouse: John Turturro
Baron Silas Greenback: Steve Buscemi

Check out the rest after the jump.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Bananas

A Guy Ritchie flick that depicts a young London lad down on his luck called Eric. A schoolboy by day, he's a poker player by night. One evening, after losing a huge hand to a really big poker shark called Jimmy The Cockney, Eric goes (cue obligatory shaky cam) on a massive Banana binge around the East End and becomes... Bananaman! The films ends when after saving all his school friends from drugs, crime and gang fighting, Bananaman defeats Jimmy The Cockney, only to die from a potassium overdose due to "too many bluddy barnarnars!" (his words, not ours).

As it's Guy Ritchie, expect even more swearing than Tarantino, Cockney rhyming slang a-go-go, sawn-off shotguns, cheeky chappies and 'loadsafighting'.

Bananaman: Jason "The Stath" Statham
Eric: Christopher Mintz-Plasse
Jimmy The Cockney: Dizzy Rascal


Elvis And Fireman Sam Strike Back

A Kevin Smith creation, we're transported to Wales's stoner paradise, Pontypandy, where two ex-firemen, Sam and Elvis, listen to rockabilly and smoke a lot of questionable substances. Desperate to get his job back, Fireman Sam (who'd changed his name by deed poll by this point) rushes into the fire station, high as a kite, and somehow manages to steal a fire engine. And so begins a mammoth buddy movie where Elvis and Fireman Sam drive the length and breadth of Wales, getting baked, saving kittens from trees and falling asleep.

Kevin Smith requires that Sam says absolutely nothing, that they are almost always reading comics when not rapping about firefighting, and they speak in a New Jersey drawl, despite obviously being Welsh.

Fireman Sam: Kevin Smith
Elvis Cridlington: Jason Mewes
Station officer Basil Steele: Ben Affleck
Firefighter Penny Morris: Elisha Dushku