In depth -- A vigilante's guide to the law

Michael Caine's latest film, the "urban western," Harry Brown (there's Michael on your left) is released today. In it, ex-marine Harry, played by Caine (still there on your left), unleashes his own brand of vigilante street justice after a gang of thugs murder his best mate.

But what are the rules around street justice? When can you legitimately lay down the smackdown? We asked a hot-shot criminal solicitor who gave us the low-down.

But before you start throwing down with every slack-jawed rude-boy who tries to murk you, you should first know, that the best policy for any altercation that looks to be getting physical, is to high tail it, run for the hills, make like a shepherd and get the flock outta there.

It's not cowardice - it's strong survival instincts. Physically, legally, tactically, it's always the best course of action. So don't use this as legal support for your wrong-doings. It won't work. Oh and if you're living outside Great Britain then this isn't even a loose guide. It's worthless. Like your shoes.

Read it after the jump.

1. Burglars are in your house! And they're not playing Daft Punk - they're stealing all your stuff.

The current Minister for Justice (yeah we have a Minister for Justice - who thinks he should wear this?) Jack Straw, unveiled legislation in 2007 that would be "aimed at ensuring that those who seek to protect themselves, their loved ones and their homes as well as other citizens have confidence that the law is on their side," as long as the force they use is proportional.

"Proportional" though, is a highly subjective term. However it doesn't mean that you can't give someone a fair old thump, especially if you are protecting others in your house or if the burglars are "tooled". "Weapons aren't necessarily out", according to our bespectacled law-man, you may use "implements" to "suppress any nasty burglars". But to remain in safe territory, these implements shouldn't explicitly be weapons. Taking a telescopic cosh to an unwitting burglar's bounce might not serve you well in court.

Passive weapons, sorry "implements", would be better, things such as, a chair-leg, a comedy frying pan, a weighty lamp, a cricket bat or the cat. Don't use the cat. Unless it's like a panther. Once your burglar is "suppressed" ie... one the floor, incapacitated or knocked-out, it is essential you don't strike them again, unless they try to hit you. Ring the police and wait for them to come and take your hapless victim away.

2. "I'm going to batter you."

You're in a bar (left), enjoying a post-work beer with a few chums, when Garry Lowbrow and his WKD wielding friends come lomping over, intent on injuring your soft little head.

First, is there no possible way you can escape? Tick. And you've tried sincerely to talk your way out of these morons' planned pound-down? Tick. You've asked bystanders for help? Tick. You feel physically threatened and are quite sure they're going to attack? Tick.

"Then you've got absolutely every right to defend yourself," and that may mean that you can take preemptive action. Once again though, it's today's key word, "proportional". If you can prove that the bad-ass moves you impart on Mr. Lowbrow were proportional to "the threat he posed, while showing that you made every human effort to avoid the confrontation, then legally you should be fine". That's a big "should" right there.

Implements are less permissible in this circumstance unless they are being used against you. Again once your assailants are incapacitated don't, despite the urge, continue your beat-down or you might well face battery charges.

3. The "have-a-go-hero"

You see a gang of hooded youths, of the type that only really exist in the pages of The Daily Mail, mugging an old lady. You're a stand-up member of the community, you've rang the police, but they're minutes away - and she could be in serious trouble. What do you do?

You do the thing any reasonable person would. You jump in and start swinging. You've laid out the would-be muggers and saved Maude McBluerinse. You're a hero! But what's old-man-law got to say?

A "big fat grey area" says our law man. "There's not much precedent. Either you'll be absolutely fine, or you'll be absolutely f***ked, it depends on the CPS, the magistrates, the judge if it gets that far, the damage you do, the exact circumstances."

The problem is, over-eager have-a-go-heroes have been jumping in and applying the full-on smackdown in situations that required little more than a thick ear.

"In your particular instance, I think you'd be fine. You can use the reasonable person test: What would be the reaction of a reasonable rational person in your situation. If it's what you did, you should be okay.

"There's no telling what damage an old lady could suffer whilst under attack. As long as you don't use a weapon, or go, you know, completely Rambo on them, you should be fine."

-- So there you go gents. Lot's of "shoulds" but also plenty to keep in mind. We're still keen on the run until you drop option, though.