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This week's winner:

Like everyone, Steven Burton wanted to make a good impression at his high school reunion, and he probably thought there was a copping a snog with - you know - Sandra Bigglesthwaite... "the one that got away".

You see, 20 years after graduating, Burton was going back as quite the catch. He cut a dashing figure in his Marine Corps uniform and had a plethora of sparkling medals on his chest.

As he walked into the party at Alhambra High School in Martinez, California his 14 medals and badges - which included a Purple Heart, a Bronze Star, and a Navy Cross - must have made him the centre of attention.

There is no doubt people wanted to talk to him about serving his country and find out how he had won the Navy Cross - the second highest honour that the President can bestow for acts of "extraordinary heroism".

Read about our "hero" after the jump.


Yep, you guessed it. The 39-year-old had never actually served in the military... and his uniform had caught the eye of a fellow graduate of the class-of-88, a Navy commander.

As Colleen Salonga chatted to our purported hero she recognised that something wasn't right and suspecting him of playing dress-up, she asked him to pose for a picture.

She later ran a check on him with the US Navy who confirmed her suspicions that he had not been decorated with the Navy Cross. They also mentioned that he wasn't - and had never been - a US Marine.

She then reported him to FBI agents who launched their own investigation.

They found out that our would-be hero had been keeping a blog about the fictitious combat missions he had 'undertaken' in Afghanistan and Iraq, particularly fighting in Fallujah.He had also posted a picture of himself in full military regalia standing on a beach at Coronado Island in California - pictured. We love how he's casually stepped to one side so we can see the beach. It's not all about his medals, you see.

Burton is actually a lowly bank worker. He now faces federal charges of masquerading as a decorated Marine and wearing unearned medals. Points for gutsiness from us at Asylum will be scant consolation if he received a year in federal prison if convicted.

The runners up:

Credit card fraud to dump boyfriend:

Criminals often have some pretty warped justifications for their actions, but they don't come much odder than this.

A woman who ran up debts of £12,000 on her boyfriend's credit card, says she did it to end their relationship -- because "he was too clingy."

Maria Ignacio from Winnipeg, Canada, told a court she hadn't known how else to end her relationship of five years so had started stealing his credit card and over a period of four months made $21,000 in cash withdrawals.

The 42-year-old said she hoped her partner would discover what she was doing, realise the type of woman she was, and break up with her. He did, and she was arrested.

Despite the fact Ignacio had saved all the money in a shoe box and repaid the victim in full, a Judge made it clear he did not believe her story - partly because she had just finished a two-year conditional sentence for theft from another boyfriend.

She was fined $750 and sentenced to 12 months supervised probation.


PC patrolling for shoplifters caught shoplifting

When cops announced they would start patrolling high street stores to help crack down on shoplifters, staff thought the increased police presence could only be a good thing.

But they hadn't banked on light-fingered bobby Peter Cokell being the man charged with ensuring their store remained crime-free.

As the 34-year-old was "patrolling" an aisle of computer games at a HMV store in Bristol, a security guard noticed him start to behave suspiciously.

Watching him on CCTV, the security man saw the PC slip two Playstation games, worth £74.98, into his police hat. He then took the boxes to the back of the store where he stuffed them under his stab vest.

While walking out of the store he was stopped at the exit. He later told security that he couldn't give back the games because they were "locked up." No, we don;t know what that means, either.

The security guard later reported what he had seen to Cokell's supervisor and the PC
resigned when an investigation was launched into the theft. He was this week found guilty of theft and will be sentenced on November 27.