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You might have noticed already, what with the sun switching off at about 3.30pm and crap Santas knocking about your local shopping centre, that the year is drawing to a close.

A few things need preparing for this momentous event. 1. Sorting out a non-woeful New Year's Eve event. 2. Buying Christmas tat for the nearest and dearest and 3. Getting a new calendar / diary / means to plan out your existence with accompanying pretty pictures. As for the latter, Asylum, as ever, is here to help.

We searched for the strangest, quirkiest and downright weirdest calendars out there, and here they are, distilled for your clicking pleasure. Check 'em out after the jump. Oh, and as for what to do on New Year's Eve? We're staying in. Fourth year on the trot.

Hot Mormon Muffins

The sexiest thing to appear on the Mormon-based 12-month calendar circuit for a long time, Hot Mormon Muffins looks to titillate and educate at the same time, including baking recipes alongside pictures of 'hot Mormon mums' in pinafores.


Coffin makers

Essentially a collection of milky-white models in leather, latex and bondage gear standing by coffins, this undertaker-themed calendar isn't going to go down well hung up at the office. Then again, the girlfriend won't like it at home either, so probably one for the man-den (garage) then.


The Credit Crunch Calendar

Lost your job? Need a laugh? Then look away now – unless your sense of humour is dark enough to appreciate high-res shots of burnt out industrial buildings and boarded-up Woolies, in which case, this is most definitely the calendar for you.


Extraordinary Chickens

Sure, there are your ordinary, common or garden, average chicken calendars out there, but nothing but the 'Extraordinary Chickens' calendar will suffice in the chicken-fanciers pursuit of fluffy, pecking goodness. And that's a fact.



Surfing Dogs

Dogs – cool. Surfing – way cool. Combine the two and put it in a calendar format and what have you got...? Some pictures of surfing dogs with an accompanying grid of days and numbers, that's what you've got. Radical! Awesome! Bodacious! Etc!


The Perpetually Pointless calendar

A shot of a wall socket. A wooden electricity pylon. Some road lines. And, for good measure, too many numbers (it goes up to 40 on each page) and no days to go alongside them. It's pointless. It's mind-numbing. It's perfect.



Weird Mushrooms

Shots of odd-looking fungi don't come better than this. Everything you'd expect from a mushroom-based almanac, you can look forward to red mushrooms, brown mushrooms, those mushrooms with hats on where Smurfs live, um, blue mushrooms...


Great Works of Cow Literature

American fast food chain Chick-Fil-A's follow-up to the worryingly successful 'bovines in blue' police / cow themed calendar, Great Works Of Cow Literature sees cows photoshopped into Gulliver's Travels, Alice In Wonderland and Sherlock Holmes, amongst others. Not one for vegetarians.


Goats In Trees

So, goats can climb trees. It's one of their special powers, besides ramming and bleating loudly – and here's a youtube clip to prove it, and another, of a goat climbing a near-vertical cliff face. Anyway, this is the best goats in trees calendar around. We've checked.


Nuns Having Fun

Nuns, lovely ladies though they are, are somehow intrinsically funny. Especially when they're photographed in groups riding around on children's trikes. This calendar celebrates the fact, gathering together nostalgic shots of sisters chillin' out.




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