Would you rather -- be handcuffed to Kim Woodburn or live on bush-tucker?

I'm A Celebrity is just like one big 'would you rather' debate. Would you rather eat a kangaroo's nuts or disappoint a bunch of d-list celebs? Would you rather sell your soul to ITV or continue working Panto?

Among those who've sold their souls to the Satan of reality TV is Kim "How Clean Is Your House" Woodburn, who in this year's I'm A Celeb, has revealed herself as the most annoying thing since wantonly fruity shampoo. And although the bush-tucker trials have been as gruesome as ever we think spending time in the company of Woodburn is equally tortuous.


So what we want to know is, would you rather spend a month in the jungle, handcuffed to Woodburn, with a headache, or eat bugs, kangaroos nuts, koala's belly-button fluff and other jungle delicacies (and by delicacies we mean disgusting stuff)?

See the full deal after the break.

Spend a month handcuffed to Kim Woodburn in the jungle.

You've got a new job as a high-security prison warden - you're escorting Kim Woodburn to a remote international prison for the criminally anally-retentive, when your plane crashes. You and Woodburn survive, but you're handcuffed together.

Luckily you've got a huge supply of sumptuous freeze-dried food and a functioning kettle. But you are handcuffed to Woodburn - and you haven't got the key, and these are some serious handcuffs, they're not those fluffy ones like your girlfriend bought from Ann Summers - they're titanium. Basically if you want to get out of them you'll be gnawing your arm off.

You've got a banging headache but Kim spends a whole month prodding, poking and cleaning you - she has unabated monologues about the importance of personal cleanliness while creating rudimentary make-up out of her own dead skin and hair. She drags you around constantly trying to tidy the jungle, refusing to see that it's an impossible task and she may well be hitting on you -- you're not sure. Eventually, after a month, you're found by an indigenous tribe and saved.

OR

Spend a month eating creepy crawlies

You're off on your holidays, but you fall out of the plane, we don't know how, you just do, right? Luckily you land on big soft pile of sleeping Koala bears, who cushion your fall with their little faces. You survive but you're trapped in the jungle, all on your own, with only your wits and survival skills to save you.

Only you never paid old Ray Mears any attention when he was on TV, you always preferred Bear Grylls, but now you realise Grylls was just a big show off who urinated on himself too much and from whom you've learnt nothing. You know more about soup than you know about survival.

Therefore you spend your days munching on the vast array of different creepy crawlies scuttling around on jungle floor. Occasionally you find a discarded pair of kangaroo nuts (oh you didn't know? Yeah kangaroos shed their nuts once a month) and obviously you eat them, uncooked, raw, right down the hatch. You've got to, you need to survive.

After a month you're found by a bubbly young girl called Jenny who works for Chester Zoo, which is where you've been all a long, in the jungle enclosure, with the kangaroos and the monkeys. Chin up.

So which will it be? Vote in our poll at the top.