Nobel Pissed Prize -- Awards for the supremely inebriated

Today Barack Obama will pick up his Nobel Peace Prize - the jammy sod.

Elinor Ostrom and Oliver Williamson will lift the Nobel prize for Economics. Venkatraman Ramakrishnan and Thomas Steitz and Israel's Ada Yonath will share the Nobel for Chemistry. Sure they're great achievements and everything. Yonath created detailed blueprints of ribosomes, the protein-making machinery within cells -- research that's now being used to develop new antibiotics. That's cool -- we appreciate her work. But what we want to know is when did they all last shed their lab-coats and get wasted?

Ladies and gents, it's the first annual Asylum Nobel Pissed Prize -- The awards for the drunks, after the break.

Award for: Best drunk on Google Earth -- Bob.

This poor Aussie was spotted by a Google Car, that promtply snapped him after he fell asleep, drunk on the grass verge in front of his house. The image has since been removed from Google Earth.

Award for: Best drunk trying to have sexual intercourse with a motor vehicle -- The gent who mounted this Toyota 4x4.


Award for: The most honest drunk driver -- Mary Strey.

This 49-year-old from Wisconsin, USA, was so appalled by her behavior she rang the police on herself. When asked by the dispatcher: "Are you [driving] behind them?" Strey answers, "No, I am them." The confused dispatcher asks, "You am them?" And Strey responds, "Yes, I am them."


Award for: Best destruction of a wall with head while inebriated -- This guy.

Drink-driving is a sure fire way to lose your license and in this gentleman's case your dignity (and some serious brain matter).


Award for: Most ironic drink driver arrest -- Man arrested dressed as breathalyzer.

James Miller, a man dressed in a breathalyzer costume, was arrested for drunk driving in Oxford, Ohio. Cops pulled Miller over on suspicion of driving while under the influence after they spotted him meandering the wrong way down a one-way street. They found an open can of Bud Light in the cup holder and more beer in the passenger seat
Award for: Best drunk Jedi arse kicking -- Arwell Wynn Hughes.

Jedi Church founder Barney Jones (or Jedi name -- Jonba Hehol) and his cousin, Michael Jones, were attacked with a metal crutch while they practised lightsaber skills in their garden in Anglesey. Arwel Wynn Hughes, 27, says he has no memory of the attack because he was drunk at the time, having consumed "the better part of a 2.5-gallon or so box of wine beforehand".


Award for: Most ambitious practical joke -- The guy that tried to hijack a plane.

A drunk Uzbek passenger on a Turkish Airlines was so munted that he declared that he had a bomb strapped to his body. The plane was traveling from the Turkish resort of Antalya to St. Petersburg, Russia, and had 164 people on board. He plane be rerouted to France but fellow passengers sprung to action and overpowered the man.

Award for: Most unlikely drunk animal -- Tipsy the hedgehog.

The feisty hedgehog, nicknamed Tipsy by animal rescuers, was seen rolling around haphazardly after consuming one too many fermented apples at a farm in Devon. As luck would have it, the Prickly Ball Hedgehog Hospital -- an actual place -- was just a few miles away in a nearby town.

And here it is folks. The big one. The one you've all been waiting for

The award for this year's Nobel Pissed Prize goes too... drum roll -- The drunkest guy ever.

Whether of not this gentleman's state of apparent inebriation is down to alcohol alone is debatable. But this video has found a place in the drunken hearts of people the world over. Congratulations drunk man with awful haircut.