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The news. The big boring news. Pick up the paper and for the most part it'll be full of big ol' boring mcboring news.But not here at Asylum, no sir. We dissect and select only the finest, weirdest and most interesting newsy snippets for you, our lovely readers. Sure, we're not the best place to find out how the FTSE's doing, but if you want a laugh, look no further.
We gathered up the best of the past year's weird news, but there was so much of the stuff that we couldn't fit them into just one post. So, here's the second slice of the odd news pie from this year of years, 2009, after the jump.
The curious case of the Balloon Boy
What collection of 2009's weirdest news would be complete with the age-old tale of a publicity stunt gone horrifically awry (or horrifically well), when a young boy supposedly took a trip to the sky in a weather balloon, when in reality he was hiding in the attic? Cheeky, sure, but verging on genius.
Man sues over 55 hour erection Fact of the day people, some anti-psychotic medication can leave prisoners with erections lasting up to 55 hours. Painful, yes, impressive...? Kind of.
US police caught playing Wii during a drugs raid
Nine hours straight. American cops, 20 minutes into a raid, start playing a bit of Wii Bowling. Nine hours later, they're still at it. Why there was a video recording the events is just, well, stupid.
Meet the world's new tallest man At 8 feet 1 inches Turkey's Sultan Kösen is now officially the tallest man on the planet, beating Bao Xi Shun, the previous record holder, who is a measly 7 feet 8.95 inches. He's massive. Huge. Gigantic. You want proof – well you got proof.
Student denied diploma after blowing a kiss to his mum
Flunking out of uni had become something of an art, be it bombing out on the all important exam or mooning the vice-chancellor while he's in his car. Admirable efforts, both – but blowing a kiss to your mum? That's gotta hurt.
Obama picks fly out of the air
Ninja master, world saver, all-round super hero, Barack "Awesome" Obama picked a fly out in mid-air, as cool as the proverbial cucumber. You should did him doing it with chopsticks. It's even awesomer.
TV presenter flips lid, shows impressive cleavage
What would you do if no-one was calling in the quiz show you were presenting? That's right, you'd scream your lungs out and bash your phone repeatedly, then scream a bit more. Of course you would. Naturally.
Man appears alive at his own funeral In the first legitimate use of the phrase "walking dead" we've come across so far, elatives of Brazilian bricklayer Jorge Goncalves were shocked to see him turn up to his own burial. And no, it wasn't a practical joke. We checked.
The MOD release 'The British X-Files' A series of previously unreleased material from the Ministry Of Defense archives showed the world just how odd it could be, with sketchy drawings of flying saucers from policemen to Aliens supposedly appearing at Glasto. Might have drugs been involved? Surely not.
The 'Gas Mask Bra' wins the Ig Nobel award for worst invention The Ig Nobels honour the worst science has to offer, and its favourite piece was the gas mask bra this year. Handy if you do need a gas mask on cue, but if only that clasp at the back wasn't so goddamn fiddly...
