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If there's one thing we know about here at Asylum, it's the impending animal apocalypse. Yes sir, the beastly uprising against mankind. It's been happening for months.

Whether it's jellyfish invading boats or camels occupying whole towns, they have had enough of human dominance and are revolting... especially the blobfish.

But things are getting worse. It looks like the animals are taking it up a notch... they're arming themselves.We sh*t you not.

Over in California a hunter has become the latest victim, after being shot by his dog. Authorities say the 53-year-old had been hunting in the Los Banos area when he put his shotgun down while he retrieved some duck decoys.

Unfortunately his labrador retriever took this lapse in concentration as her chance to pounce and stepped on his gun, causing it to fire. This shot the man in his upper back. Fortunately he survived, but not all are that lucky.

Check out these armed animal attacks all of which have eerie Cluedo-esque attempts at people's lives. Some even succeeding... after the jump.


The turkey, in the car, with the shotgun.

What the hell happened? Larry Lands was showing off the turkey he thought he'd just killed while hunting in Missouri, USA, when the hefty wobbler started thrashing around in the car boot. Revived, it hit the trigger of his loaded shotgun. The slug went through the side panel of Larry's car and into his leg. Now that's cold, Turkey. Peheheh.
The goat, in the farm, with the rope.

What the hell happened? A pensioner was killed by a goat he was trying to tie it up, that's what. It's thought Liston Richardson fell to the ground, before the goat encircled the poor old boy, wrapping a rope around his neck. When family members found Richardson's lifeless body, the goat was standing on top of him.



The cat, in the kitchen, with the pistol.

What the hell happened? A feline loving man was shot by his pet cat armed with a 9mm handgun. Well, almost. The cold kitty knocked the Michigan man's weapon from a kitchen counter while he was cooking, it hit the floor and fired, shooting him in the lower torso. He was treated in hospital and, no thanks to the pistol pussy, survived.
The rabbit, in the living-room, with the rifle.

What the hell happened? Julius Monroe was woken up by a sharp pain in his right hand. When he opened his eyes he could have been forgiven for thinking he was still in la-la-land. His pet bunny was staring down the barrel of a .22 calibre rifle with a paw on the trigger. The sick, remorseless rabbit had emptied lead into his snoozing victim.
The monkey, in the street, with the stick

What the hell happened? A group of performing monkeys in China turned on their trainer and used their newly found taekwondo skills to attack him with a series of ninja-like kicks. They also grabbed sticks which they used to hit him over the head! This one, we reckon, was probably deserved.
The dog, in the forest, with the shotgun.

What the hell happened: After seeing his owner, Perry Price, shoot a goose on a hunting trip a dog got carried away and started jumping up and down in the back of his truck. Anger at witnessing the butchering of a fellow beast, we think. The hyperactive hound hit a shotgun which was resting in the vehicle and the bullet penetrated Price square in the thigh. He was rushed to hospital but the pellets had severed an artery and Price could not be saved.

You have been warned.


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