ASYLUM - For all mankind

What's Italian for: "Yes guv, I've erm... pranged the Lambo..."?

These are the words we hope were uttered by one Italian copper after he crashed their most valuable patrol car, a £125,000 Lamborghini. The accident happened near the northern Italian town of Cremona where it was on display at a student jobs fair.

Reports say the car swerved to avoid another vehicle which crossed into its path, ploughing into two stationary cars. It was a write off.

Amusing as it is, spare a thought for the cops inside the car, one of whom suffered a broken rib, the other receiving bruises.

The Lamborghini car, painted in the Italian police force's blue and white colours, was a gift to the force from the carmakers in 2004. The monstrous 500-horsepower engine is designed to go from zero to 100km/h (60mph) in four seconds. Not now, obviously. Check out the stunning car, pre-"bump" after the jump...

Tennis star or porn star?
An audio quiz. (COED)

Boys take car on joyride through school. (Zoo Today)

Win a £3,000 trip to Turin a la The Italian Job. (Shortlist)

Very strange tour of bedrooms in German brothels. (DJ Mick)

Create an instant dance party at Glastonbury this year. (NME)

Bag tickets to Bruno. (FHM)
Cat takes out a Rottweiler
A victory for cat fans everywhere. (I-Am-Bored)
The Curse of Cheddar Bay prank
Do this with your friends and see what happens. (GorillaMask)

And now we present the women who make you actually want to go in to the office. Today's Hot Girl, Cool Job is Fubar girl Victoria Tapia, aka VviXxen.

What's your job?
I am a construction project manager for a high end, custom home remodeling firm. People don't realise how challenging and demanding the construction industry can be, both physically and intellectually. On top of that, I am a woman in a man's world. In this male dominated industry I have to prove that my petite frame "packs a hard punch" right off the bat.

Any weird stories from the site?
Once I arrived on a site and the very Italian subcontractor said in his Italian accent, "My muse! We are going to create an astounding piece. You are beautiful." A day and a half later I come back to check progress and there was a one and a half foot mosaic tile design of ME! Well, the head of a woman with long auburn hair sitting on top of two obnoxiously perfect shaped breasts. He just stared at me, smiling, asking, "Do you like it?" I think my blank stare gave my shock and confusion away.


Find out how to get into Victoria's toolbelt -- and check out some more pictures -- after the jump.

Hang on lads -- he's got a great idea.

Sir Michael Caine has revealed the mystery of The Italian Job's cliff-hanger ending after almost 40 years.

The 1969 classic ends with Caine's cadre of thieves hanging over the edge of a ravine in a bus filled with gold. If they move towards the loot, the bus topples closer to the edge... And then Caine's character chirps up:

"Hang on lads, I've got a great idea," he says -- and then the film ends.

The debate over just how Croker would have saved the gold, and his life, has been a source of debate for decades. A competition is currently being held by the Royal Society of Chemists to find the best and most original ending to the movie, and has received more than 1,000 entries.

But now -- for those who want to know -- the mystery is over.

Speaking at the Visit London awards this week -- where he was named the city's favourite Londoner -- Caine revealed the truth.

So if you don't want to know the ending, look away now!

According to Caine, Croker would have switched on the engine, burning off fuel until the van righted itself.

"I crawl up, switch on the engine and stay there for four hours until all the petrol runs out," Caine said. "The van bounces back up so we can all get out, but then the gold goes over... There are a load of Corsican Mafia at the bottom watching the whole thing with binoculars. They grab the gold, and then the sequel is us chasing it."

Caine said the alternate ending had been filmed in 1969, but the producers decided not to use it.

Turns out he did have a great idea after all -- The Italian Job's cliff-hanger ending has been solved after almost 40 years.

The classic 1969 film ends with Caine's gang in a bus filled with gold, hanging over the edge of the ravine. If Caine move towards the loot, the bus topples closer to the edge. But if anyone tries to leave, they all go over anyway. All seems lost.

But then Caine's character chirps up: "Hang on lads, I've got a great idea." And then the film ends.

The debate over just how Croker would have saved the gold has raged for decades. So in an attempt to solve it once and for all, the Royal Society of Chemistry recently held a competition to find the best explanation.

Around 2,000 people sent in entries. Our favourite came from twelve-year-old Thomas Nixon. He said the gang should sing until they got "frogs" in their throats, and then the frogs start jumping up and down, rocking the bus. The gang then use the "rocks" to weigh the bus down and when their throats are sore from singing, they use the "saw" to cut the gold in half. And because two halves make a whole, the gang use the "hole" to escape. Neat.

But it was a more practical entry from John Godwin in Surrey that eventually won the contest. According to his plan, the gang first smash the windows at the back end of the coach to improve the weight ratio. Then one of the gang is lowered outside to deflate the wheels. To even out the weight ratio further Croker turns on the engine and drains the fuel tank of its 140kg of petrol. Then one of the men leaves and brings back rocks to stablise the front of the bus and remove the gold.

On balance that makes more sense than our solution, which basically relied on the sudden appearance of an alien space craft.

Male breast reduction surgery has doubled over the past year. You might want to read that again, yep, breast reduction surgery is on the increase, but don't worry, it's only the guys.

Still, that's a whole lot of chest surgery going on - and not the type your ex-girlfriend keeps boasting about on Facebook. Besides breast reduction, nose jobs and under-eye facelifts were also common - but these are old hat, right?

We wanted to know about the more unusual cosmetic enhancements available for blokes - how much they cost, how much they hurt, and how on earth they do it. Check it out in its gory detail, after the jump.

The Nepal Red Cross Society has voted to pay a monthly salary to a wounded stray dog that has taken on the job of guarding its office.

The NRCS president said the dog had turned up at the organisation's premises in the east of the country last month and remained there ever since, barking at any stranger who approached.

The NRCS working committee voted on Sunday to pay it 1,000 rupees (£9) a month, plus overtime for weekends.

"The dog is doing such a great job that we might even get rid of our night guard," Mr Bahadur Budathoki, the president said, somewhat worryingly.

"We will use the money to buy it good food and it will have meat at least once a day.

"It will also be given milk and biscuits, which it seems to really like." Funny that.

Mr Budathoki said staff at the Red Cross had taken pity on the dog, a large black mongrel, when it arrived wounded on their doorstep.

Tens of thousands of stray dogs wander the streets of Nepal's capital, Kathmandu, where most people consider them a pest.

Many die in road accidents or from poisoning - an ordeal the Kathmandu Animal Treatment Centre describes as "horrific", throwing the dogs into violent seizures that last for up to nine hours before they die.